Hello everybody, good afternoon to all of you. This is
Vineet Gautam, motivational speaker, mind coach.
Here I want to talk to you about something serious.
If you want to be successful in life, as a professional,
you want to be successful professionally, or socially
successful. It doesn't matter which field you are in.
You want to be successful in your personal life.
The topic I am discussing today is, A person who can
control himself, can do anything in life.
A person who can control himself, can do anything in life.
A person who can't control himself, can't control himself,
who doesn't have self-control, he can't control anything.
If you can't control yourself, if you want to do something,
if you want to be successful, then you need to be in
control of that work.
As a sales marketing professional, as a professional,
whatever you are, you are an engineer, doctor, CA, lawyer,
political person, teacher, trainer, if you want to be
successful in your field, where do all these things start
from?
It is said, whatever you do, do it carefully.
And when to do it carefully?
When you are able to control yourself,
You can be in control of yourself, as long as you are in a
controlled way.
When you are out of yourself, then it is necessary for you
to lose your focus.
When you are out of yourself, a person says to himself, I
am out of my mind, don't talk to me.
Then he starts behaving like this, starts talking like this.
People say, what has happened to him? What kind of talks is
he doing?
Who is he talking to?
Who is he behaving like?
It means, his self-image is no longer there.
His self-image is no longer there.
He is talking like someone else, he is behaving like
someone else.
So, when you don't behave like yourself, when? When you are
not able to control yourself.
The second thing that provokes you, the opposition will do
this, whenever you are walking on the right path, the
opposition wants you not to walk on the right path, there
should be obstacles in your path, so they will do something
with you, so that you
get stuck in it.
And when you have control over yourself, you know what you
have to do, then you will not get stuck in their trap, in
their plan.
This is one thing.
The second thing is, when a typical situation comes, and
you have control over yourself, then you are able to tackle
it properly, you are able to control the situation.
But, when you yourself get frustrated in such a situation,
you get out of control, you get out of yourself in anger,
you get tensed.
So, when you yourself will not be in control, then you tell
me, will that person be able to control any situation, or
will he be able to do something else? When you yourself are
not in control, then will he be able to control any
situation? He cannot.
When you are in a controlled way, then you are able to
solve your problems, you are able to solve other people's
problems, and as a leader, you can improve yourself.
And everywhere, in normal conditions, anyone can say
anything, anyone can do anything, but when there is a
typical situation, when you are able to take things in a
controlled way, then you can understand that you have a
different personality, and that
will be noticed.
When you are in a controlled way, then it is not only that
you are able to solve problems, you can also convert those
problems into your power, and you are able to create an
opportunity for yourself.
Yes.
There was a time of Corona, there was a very bad situation,
there were problems everywhere, everyone was worried.
The smart people were finding opportunities for themselves
in that problem.
The smart people were finding opportunities for themselves
in that problem.
This is the perspective of the smart people.
They started making the things that were needed at that
time.
They started start-ups, whether it is a mask, or a
sanitizer, or a PPE kit, and at a higher level, they
developed vaccines.
So, this is how you can use the bad situation in a positive
way.
But when did these things happen?
When you have self-control.
If you panic, then the situation does not get better, it
gets worse. And if you want a solution, then you will have
to control yourself, and then you will be able to do it to
others.
Sometimes our situation is such that, the things that
should be seen in a controlled way, cannot be seen in a
controlled way. And we get trapped in that situation.
We are not able to control that situation, that situation
controls us.
And then, what should not happen, what is the demand
according to the situation, what should happen.
You know, when I say mind coach, it is also a question of
mindset.
You can make your mindset only when you know, who you are,
and who you are, also depends on your mindset.
It is said that, the king of the jungle is a lion, he is
neither the strongest nor the biggest, still he is the king
of the jungle. Because he has self-control, and with this
control and mindset,
he can kill the biggest and strongest animals.
So, when you are in control, when you are focused,
Concentration creates something new
A great scientist was asked what is the secret of your
success?
He said that he painted a small room in white color and he
put white colored clothes on the floor
He said that this is the secret of my success
I am talking about a great scientist He said that he
meditates here and concentrates himself What is
concentration and meditation?
The process of controlling yourself
You meditate yourself and become self-introduced
You become part of yourself
Then you realize what you are for in this life
When you go into the process of deep meditation you get to
know about your chakras which is where our Prana and Vayu
flow and from there you get to know about new ideas because
through this your soul in this body gets connected to God
Those who become part of their subtle body in meditation
which is the form of God
What is that?
The connection of soul to God in a controlled way and from
there you get guidelines and ideas
How to solve any problem?
You said that Guru Saranam Gacchami
Krishnam Saranam Gacchami You connect to anyone you believe
in
and from there you get answers to all your questions
You become a divine force when you are not able to control
yourself
You get stuck in small fights on the road and you keep on
fighting and arguing and your life just keeps on passing by
You are not able to do anything that you want to do That is
only possible when you have control over yourself
When you have control over yourself you come out of bad
situations and you must be thinking why is all this
happening to create something new Anything new is only
possible when it is concentrated and focused
Only then something new can be created
Take a practical example
You are a sales marketing professional
You are doing any session
You are working
You are leading a team
There is a conflict between two team members or more than
two members between a group to group
They are fighting and arguing and you go there and you
start scolding or scolding one of them
Will you be able to control the situation? No If you start
doing the same thing because of which the situation is bad
then the situation is bound to get worse
Because you have become a part of the problem
If you are not able to control then you become a part of
the problem
If you want to become a part of the solution
If you want a solution then you have to control yourself
It is said that where there is a problem, there is a
solution also
But you will get the solution only when you have control
over yourself
You may take time
Think, meditate, concentrate
Ask yourself
Whoever you believe in
Whoever you are connected to
Meditate Introduce yourself
Ask yourself questions
You will get the answer
You will definitely get the answer
It is said that every soul has the presence of God
But you cannot see it while walking
When you will control, meditate
When you will look inside yourself
Then you will become aware of it
And then you can answer all your questions From there you
can get the right guidelines of your life
You can get the right idea
Where you have to take your life Which direction you have
to take it
You will get to know that in this life-like ocean
Whether your boat is moving properly or not
You can take this topic at personal level, spiritual level,
professional level
I gave the example of a scientist
He himself was accepting this
I was talking about Einstein
When I meditate in this small room
When I concentrate
Then I get to know
You know
In the ocean
Or the water in which waves are coming
Boiling water is coming
In that
You cannot see anything by looking inside
If that water is calm If that water is controlled
Then you can see 10-20 feet below the bottom of that water
What is there Good or bad
Whatever it is What is useful for you
What is not useful for you
You can take what is useful
You can leave what is not useful In the same way
When there is a storm inside you
Thoughts are moving
You are worried
You are confused
In that situation
You cannot see anything by looking inside
What is the situation in real
What is the problem
What is the solution
To understand the problem
And to go towards the solution
First of all
You need to be controlled
To be calm
To be relaxed
This is very important
When you are controlled
You are calm
You are relaxed As a mind coach I can say about the power
of subconscious mind, that if you can make your
subconscious mind believe that you really want a solution
to this problem, then it will show you a way
to solve this problem, then it will show you a way to solve
this problem, then it will show you a way to solve this
problem, then it will show you a way to solve this problem,
then it will show you a way to solve this problem, then it
will show you a
way to solve this problem, then it will show you a way to
solve this problem, then it will show you a way to solve
this problem, then it will show you a way to solve this
problem, then it will show you a way to solve this problem,
then it will show you
a way to solve this problem, then it will show you a way to
solve this problem, then it will show you a way to solve
this problem, then it will show you a way to solve this
problem, then it will show you a way to solve this problem,
then it will show
you a way to solve this problem, then it will show you a
way to solve this problem, then it will show you a way to
solve this problem, then it will show you a way to solve
this problem, then it will show you a way to solve this
problem, then it will show
you a way to solve this problem, then it will show you a
way to solve this problem, then it will show you a way to
solve this problem, then it will show you a way to solve
this problem, then it will show you a way to solve this
problem, then it will show
you a way to solve this problem, then it will show you a
way to solve this problem, then it will show you a way to
solve this problem, then you can have the answer of each
and every problem, but till then you have to control
yourself, you have to control
yourself, you have to control yourself, you have to control
yourself, you have to control 1.
You are a passive doer, in which the other person is using
you in his own way.
2. You respond according to your own understanding.
3. It is your direct action, but after taking time.
4. It is with the intellect, so you will get the result
according to your mind.
5. You have done the work in both situations.
1. You are doing it with your mind.
2. You respond according to the mind of the other person.
3. You respond to his words.
4. He made you excited in anger.
5. You got excited.
6. You panicked.
7. You got out of it.
8. You said something to someone.
9. You hit someone.
10. You beat someone.
11. The one who made you do it, did it and left.
12. He taunted you.
13. You got trapped in his taunts.
14. He had such an intention that you got trapped.
Those who are angry, I will remind you of a movie scene.
It was a movie of Raja Hindustani Aamir Khan.
In that movie, the character of the mountain man is playing.
The honest people are not cool.
They think that the world is not like this.
If the world says something wrong, they react immediately.
They think that they are honest people.
The scene was that when he comes from the mountains to the
city, the taxi driver had to give him some money. He had to
take some change back.
In big cities, the taxi drivers do not return small changes.
They say that there is no change to be kept.
But because he is a taxi driver and he is an honest taxi
driver, it does not mean that you do not have any quality.
But now I am talking that you have all the qualities.
You are honest, dedicated, hardworking.
But you can't control yourself.
So you will create problems for yourself many times.
And in that movie, the whole scene is going on like this.
So when he reacts and fights with the taxi driver for his
change, he is right in his place.
But the people who are his opposition, who are the villains
of that movie, looking at that scene, they say, listen
carefully, he is very angry.
He is angry at his nose, he is angry at everything.
Now it will be easy for us to get our work done.
It's just a matter of lighting a match, the fire will start
on its own.
It means that if you are not a controlled person, you do
not have control over yourself, you react immediately, you
do not respond. It means that you do anything without
thinking, you do anything. You do not think about the
situation, your image, the
image of the people with you, you do not respond.
So you understand that his result, when you are stuck in
someone else's trap, and you are working according to him,
then he will take the result of his own will.
The result of your will will not come.
And in that your frustration increases even more.
Because you are honest, you say, whatever I said was honest.
You did not say, you were told, it was your reaction.
And reaction in a controlled state, in a controlled way,
the answer given by understanding the thought, we call it
responding.
That is called response, not reaction.
So whatever it is, whatever kind of situation it is, in any
situation, when you know how to respond, respond means to
answer in the right way, to do the work in the right way,
and this is only possible when you can control yourself.
When there is fire, then water quenches it.
Secondly, when you are in control, calm, cool, then you, at
least less than yourself, become the thorn of your
neighbors.
It is said that iron cuts iron.
No.
This statement is wrong.
Iron does not cut iron.
Hot iron is cut by cold iron.
Means, the situation of panic, the thorn of the panic
situation, hot iron can never cut hot iron.
The one who has panicked himself in the panic situation, he
cannot find the solution.
Who can find the solution?
The one who is in that situation in a controlled way, is
calm, is cool, cold iron can cut hot iron. If the axe, the
hammer, which injures hot iron, if it is cut with a chenna
hammer, that chenna hammer, heat the hammer as it is, as it
is hot iron, then
try to injure it.
Then it will not be able to do anything.
Before cutting it, it will bend itself.
Means, when you do not have control over yourself, then
you, the situation of panic, the problem in your system,
the conflict, the problem in your team, and you are not
able to control yourself, then you will increase that
problem or you will also become
a part of that problem.
You will not be able to see the control at least.
You will not be able to give a solution.
To give a solution, you need to be cool.
The right thing is that in a panic situation, you are not
able to use your real potential, talent, knowledge,
properly.
If you want to use your full potential, full knowledge,
full talent, then it is very important for you to be cool.
You do not even remember that you know this, you know that.
You can do this, you can do that.
For this, it is very important for you to have control over
yourself.
It is very important.
If I say a big thing, if I say a conclusion, then you
should not react in any situation.
Instead of reacting, respond.
React is a quick reaction without using your mind, without
thinking properly.
What is good, what is bad, think about it.
You do not go into this process.
You react immediately.
The situation that is visible in front of you, you react in
the same way.
Sometimes the situation that is visible in front of you, it
is not like that.
It is said that the simple honest people today, they are
not able to respond to themselves properly.
And the smart people who lie, those people,
I am talking about the atmosphere of the office, the simple
hardworking person,
they are not able to present themselves properly and those
who are lying they are able to present themselves sometimes
they take their work and present it from their side they
get their work done from them they take increment promotion
so as a boss if
you are in a controlled way then you will be able to
understand the situation properly and will be able to
decide let me tell you a small story there was a
construction work going on in a building there were many
craftsmen working there they were making
walls one of them was a very simple and honest craftsman
who was very hardworking but simple so this was happening
there were many more who were very hardworking, cunning,
and dishonest they were very talkative but he was always
busy with his work whenever
a contractor came whatever was wrong that there was a
problem here and there all the women used to say that he
did it he did it he used to remain silent
I had talked about assertiveness that you have to speak for
your rights if you are not able to speak for your rights
then you will not be able to speak for your own rights and
then the world will take advantage of you and you do this
when you have self-control
you have self-confidence you have to put this in your mind
that you are right so whenever a contractor came everyone
used to say that he made this mistake he did this, he did
that
the contractor used to keep on listening the day when the
money was to be given that day the contractor gave all the
money to the craftsman who was making money he gave all the
money to the craftsman who was very simple and honest to
whom everyone used
to say that he made this mistake, he made that mistake he
gave all the money to him if he had taken this as a
reaction like they did the action that every time they used
to say that he made this mistake, he made that mistake
mostly 99% of the people in
this situation take the action the action of the complaint
they take the reaction of that action and the other person
who has a complaint against him they take action on him as
a reaction
that take him out, scold him, whatever but the contractor
did not react he responded this action of his that give all
the money to that person this was his response which he did
after thinking the action done after thinking the action is
the response
the action done without thinking is called reaction and the
action done after thinking is called response so everyone
asked why this? why all the money to him? he said that
whenever I come you say that he made all the mistakes he
did this, he did that
he did all the mistakes now it is not possible that he only
makes mistakes the mistake is with the one who does the
work and you do not make any mistake means you do not do
any work he does all the work that is why all the money is
his it is not like
that that he only makes mistakes he did 10 good works and
he made a mistake and you said that he only did all the
work that is why all the money is his and you did not do
any work so what is the money for? do you know what was
this? this was the response
which he gave after thinking and this happens at every
level as a professional whether you are a sales marketing
professional whether you are a teacher teachers do this to
their students some students do this directly some students
do this indirectly
some students do this in a very wrong way some students do
it directly some students do it indirectly some students do
it in a very wrong way now it is your responsibility that
immediately
I have seen mostly teachers that they take action
immediately
and in this what happens is the students who are made to do
this they become rogues and they know that
I can also move madam as I like
The child who has done this injustice without any mistake,
he gradually gets filled with self-pity.
He feels that nothing good happens to me.
Nothing good can happen to me.
I get punished for the mistakes I don't do.
And gradually he goes into frustration.
Inferiority complex.
He feels that nothing good can happen to me.
And this is a very big negativity.
So, by controlling yourself, you can become a good teacher.
You can become a good lawyer.
You can become a good doctor.
You can become a good manager, engineer, CA, accountant.
By controlling yourself, you can become a good family
person.
If you try to understand the emotions of your children
according to the office, you will not be able to
understand. If you change your channel, think and respond,
then you will be able to understand what the child is
saying, what is the demand of the
family. Many times you say in anger that these people are a
tension for me.
I work all day.
For whom do you work?
Why do you go home?
If there is no one at home, why do you want to go? Then for
whom will you work?
It is not possible.
There was a saint in our village.
He is no more.
He used to say that tension is good, tension is not good.
Tension means the chain of worldliness.
Brothers, friends, relatives, family.
This is good.
If you call yourself barren, then nothing.
That is not good.
Because loneliness is the biggest disease.
Control yourself.
Then respond.
With this, your relations will also be good.
They will be good.
Your children will also be good.
If your children are good, then your children will also be
good.
If your children are good, then your children will also be
good.
Plus, if your job is good, then your job will also be good.
Step by step, you will keep improving things.
You will not even know.
Where is the seed?
Your self-control is there.
So, if you think you can control,
I told you the process, how you can do it.
Self-control.
You meditate, concentrate.
Do it for 10 minutes daily or 5 minutes.
Do it.
Be self-introduced.
You will know it yourself.
If you practice like this slowly, then you will not panic
even in a typical situation.
Like I talked about Tilak.
Even if you do that, you will not panic.
And if you do not panic, then you have the answer to the
question.
But you will be able to answer, when you can keep control.
And the one who will answer the question, who will be able
to do the work, who will be able to solve the problem, he
will be able to do what he can control himself.
And when he will be able to solve, the work he will do, he
will move forward.
He will be successful.
Yes.
It is possible.
But when?
Control your mind, control your speech, control your eyes,
control your body, control your hands.
You raise your hand on anyone without any reason.
Do action, action.
When do you have fights at home?
When a party reacts without thinking.
Instead of reacting, they should control themselves and
respond.
When you are calm, you should say sorry without any reason.
Or you should keep quiet.
If you don't have anything to say, then keep quiet.
When you are calm, you will appreciate it.
This will create a good bonding in the relationship.
But if there is a reaction, then immediately you leave the
house.
And the person in front of you, your child or your wife,
they put their demands and you react immediately.
They have been waiting for the whole day.
I had asked for this thing.
I will get it, I will get it, I will get it.
Oh, Baba, they are doing everything for you.
They are trusting you.
And because of that, you have many names.
Otherwise, you will be left with only one name.
Some call you Papa, some call you husband, some call you
son, some call you uncle.
You have got so many names.
So, you have to maintain this relationship.
We have not got it.
You can do this.
You say something in anger, you take some action, you slap.
So, you also think later that it was wrong.
Why? Because you have given the reaction of action. If you
would have responded, then you would not have done anything
at that time.
You would have thought and understood.
So, controlling yourself does not mean that you become
professionally successful.
All the problems that are happening in your personal life
these days, they are happening only because there is a
reaction, not a response. Overall, it is a question of
reaction and response.
The one who does not have control, he reacts.
And the one who has control, he responds.
Reaction happens according to the will of the other person.
And you respond according to your own will.
So, whatever you do according to your own will, the result
will also come according to your own will.
And when you react, you do not do it according to your own
will.
So, the result will also come according to the will of the
other person.
Which will not be good for you.
You will be used.
So, if you want your own well-being in any situation,
whether it is at the social level, whether it is at the
personal level, whether it is at the professional level, if
you want your own well-being, then use your own brain.
And you will be able to use your own brain when you can
control yourself.
That is why I said that the person who can control himself,
he can do anything in life.
Because then he will do the work according to his own will.
And he will get the result according to his own will.
So, whatever you are doing, you want to get the response,
the result according to your desire, then don't forget to
take control upon yourself.
And then respond, don't react wherever you are, for being a
successful professional in whichever the field you are,
wherever you are, wherever you are.
If you want to go ahead, if you want to go on the top of
your field, if you want to be professionally successful,
socially or personal level, if you want to keep your
relationship, your bonding long-term, then learn to keep
control on yourself.
Because a controlled person responds and you respond
according to your own will.
So, the result of that is also for your own good.
And you react according to the will of the other person, in
which your brain does not exist.
So, the result of that will be for the good of the one who
turned you around by his own will.
So, if you want to dance on someone's fingers, or if you
want to execute your plan on your own will, this is up to
you.
And for this, your self-control is very, very important.
And if you want to keep control on yourself, then you can,
which is also necessary.
I think you have understood the importance of keeping
control on yourself.
And from today, take it into action and start your days of
good.
Best of luck.
If you are trying, you can do.
Yes, you can.
You can do.
That sounds interesting.
Count me in. I'll make sure to spread the word to all my
gnomes.